10/23/09

Is it just me?

Baseball is the boringest (yea, I made it up) damn sport to watch in the history of sports. It trumps baseball. It trumps soccer. Hell, it even trumps golf. I can't watch it. I can't. Whenever I decide that I'm gonna sit down and watch it, I get through the first inning and then I want to watch something else.
Don't get me wrong, baseball is very fun to play. And it's even fun to watch in person. But on TV, with commentators who sound like high school biology teachers, I can't watch it and stay awake. Baseball on TV is so boring, doctors should prescribe it as a sleep aid.
Got a problem sleeping? Stress keeping you up at night? Damn Ambien. To Hell with Lunesta. Fuhget Rozerum. A baseball game is what you want. You got nine dudes on the field with one from the opposing team trying to hit a little white ball, with a long wooden bat. Usually, the ball is hit to one player, so he is the only one moving. Other than that, the other eight are standing around watching the game.
Why in hell would I watch that on TV? Nobody's running routes. Ain't nobody gonna get hit. We're just waiting for one dude to throw the ball toward another one while the other guy tries to hit it. I'd rather watch paint dry. At least if I do that, there's a good chance I'll be high when it's over.
Watch baseball, I wish I would. I don't even like baseball movies. As far as I'm concerned, the best thing about baseball is A Rod and I ain't talking about his game. Look at him. Just look at him. I would have all his babies with NO epidural.
But watch him play? I can't do it. I can take three naps before one of those games is over, wake up and they'll still be in the ninth inning. Please, how soon until it's over? I swear, I don't think I can take anymore. I hear the Phillies have already made it to the World Series. Can the Stankees please speed up the inevitable and just beat the Angels already? Sheesh! I'm gonna lose my mind if my SportsCenter doesn't stop being inundated with these damn baseball "highlights."
It's football season dammit! Why can't you show me some random quarterback I don't like getting the brakes knocked off his ass on a sack? I'll even take a dunk from Shobe Cryant, but please, for the love of all things sporty, stop showing me baseball!

4 comments:

The Jaded NYer said...

you know what? The MLB called and said it didn't WANT you to watch baseball. So THERE.

*stank side eye*

wynsters the tigress said...

i don't like football. therefore i don't watch it.

Irene said...

Baseball more boring than golf? RUFKM? Of I had to watch gold or even soccer for more than 5 minutes I would rather kill myself. Truly and honestly. And don't even get me started on hockey.

The thing about baseball is that there can be a lot of slow time in it. But the good games are the ones where the hits are line drives and the infield is scrambling for outs in each inning. Those are the best.

I compare baseball on TV to pornos - bad music and sometimes there is long, drawn out dialogue that makes no sense. But when it really gets going, someone's gonna have a sticky back. LOL!

The F$%K it List said...

Yes its just you. I love to watch baseball and I will sell my first born for some really awesome tickets (they'd bring him back in 10 min so no worries).

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