Manny Ties With Mickey And My World Implodes

Manny, how do I loathe thee, let me count the ways...

1- Your hair. Normally I love dreadlocks on a man. On you they are beyond annoying. I think it has something to do with your face. Your stupid, arrogant face.

2- That arrogance I just mentioned. You just walk around like your sh*t don't stink and it makes me want to punch you in your stupid face.

3- Your stupid face. It's stupid.

But I don't want to sound like a hater; I'm only a loather. Ramirez is, technically, a good ball player. A 17-year veteran of the game, he has amassed 536 home runs, 1,754 RBIs and has hit .315. One would think I'd be cheering on this fellow Dominicano. But I can't because of his stupid face.

Manuel "Manny" Aristides Ramírez Onelcida was born in Santo Domingo, Dominican Republic in 1972 and raised in the Washington Heights of New York City. He began his MLB career in 1993 with the Cleveland Indians, and in 2001 became one of the regular messy-haired Boston boys. That came to an end when, in 2008, Manny had a series of altercations with teammates and Red Sox staff members (Manny being Manny, right? ugh!).

When dude was traded last season to the Los Angeles Dodgers from the Boston Red Sox, Manny hit .396 with 17 home runs and 53 RBIs in 53 games, the Dodgers won the National League West championship and even the NL Championship Series. A lot of people thought that he'd flop without the Sox, myself included, but goddammit if he didn't prove us wrong. I should be in his corner, being the baseball enthusiast that I am. But I can't because of his stupid face.

And I hate to admit it, but when Ramirez was suspended for 50 games I smiled a little bit. Especially because it was for the use of "performance enhancing drugs" and because they found out about it due to his use of meds to improve his penis' performance. *giggle* I just knew when he came back he'd suck, he'd be out of practice, he'd be all full of platanos and itis. But NOPE. Fool went and tied Mantle for all time home runs (both are in 15th place).

But the season is barely at the halfway mark and Manny is back in full force. He's going to pass Mantle. He's about to be better that Mickey-freakin-Mantle and that bothers me so much I can't even stand it.

Because of his stupid face.
MetsWatch '09: W41-L45-GB6.5
Next game: 7/12/09 VS. CIN @ Citifield, Mike Pelfry (#34, 6-4 for the season) pitching


The NFL Chick said...

Okay I'm stealing the "loather" stamp LOL. Sounds better than a hater.

I can't stand Manny either. I can't, however, take away his play on the field. But I really cannot stand him, he irks me to no end!! You are not alone LOL

The Jaded NYer said...

(I might have to have a tshirt made up that reads: "Greetings, Loather!" for all my non-fans LOL)

Manny is definitely an acquired taste, and I know many Sox fans that were not sad to see him go. But dammit if he's not good at the damn game... ugh!

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