Football is back!!!!

Rejoice dear brethren! Football is back in full effect! Last Thursday, I was so happy, I burst into a full-on dance of joy. That was until Sunday came and my Panthers got molly-wopped by those dreadful New York Giants. *sigh*

I had high hopes for Matt Moore. I mean, he was the anti-Jake Delhomme, right? Apparently not. He channeled Mr. Bojangles on Sunday afternoon by throwing three interceptions in the end zone. Who does that? Then, we went from bad to worse putting in the rookie, Jimmy Clausen.

Dude, I get that you're green. A lil' wet behind the ears, even. You should know by now that playing scared ain't never won anybody a football game. It's up to you to step up and take this spot now. John Fox can not afford to ride the same failing quarterback. If Matt Moore has another Sunday like he had yesterday, I guarantee YOU will be starting. #stepitup

Thank GOD the Falcons and the Cowboys lost and the WNBA finals started yesterday or I would have been totally pissed off about my whole Sunday. I feel like every time the Falcons and Cowboys lose, an angel gets wings. *shrug*

Sidenote: The first game of the WNBA finals was thebomb.com. I am SO excited about this series, it's not even funny. Both Seattle and Atlanta brought it in Game 1. Game 2 is tomorrow night on ESPN 2. Watch, I know I will be!

Jimmy Clausen, c'mon down!!!

Words can not describe the amount of happiness running through my veins as the announcement came through that my Carolina Panthers had picked up Jimmy Clausen.
For the past three years, the Cats have been struggling with inconsistency at the QB position. Jakey D was effin' up royally and it seemed that nobody in the entire organization gave a crap.
But this year will be different. This year, we've got (we hope) at least two solid QBs. They're young and they'll make mistakes, but I'd rather have them than some old guy making mistakes. #shotsfired #poorcleveland
This year will be one of rebuilding and restructuring. While we do have a pair of running backs in D'Angelo Williams and Jonathan Stewart, we can't just fun the ball every down. We've got an awesome receiver in Steve Smith and picked up two receivers with a lot of potential in drafting Brandon LaFell and QB/receiver Armanti Edwards.
Nobody has even mentioned re-signing Mushin Muhammad and that's unfortunate. I think he was solid in that No. 2 position. I must say though, with Edwards coming in as a QB/receiver, a part of me hopes he turns into another Hines Ward. Ward has been so effective as a receiver, folks forgot he was a QB in college.
Even if Edwards turns into another Ward, what good will it do if we don't have anyone who can get him the ball? My hope is that Clausen, Edwards and LaFell are able to bring with them the tenacity needed to get us to the post season. They'd better hope so, anyway, or Foxy will be looking for a job come mid-season.
I hope that the offensive coordinator won't be too scared to put the ball in the air. Right now, we've got a rep for ALWAYS running the ball. I hoping that with Clausen's arrival and Matt Moore already being in the groove, we'll be able to shed that and Carolina can become the team to beat in the NFC South. Lord knows nobody wants to deal with the mouths of Eb the Celeb and 12 Kyle if my boys fall to theirs. *shudders*
All in all, I'm happy with the way we came out in the draft. Now let's get to training camp! I might even be tempted to head down I-85 South to Spartanburg to see what the fellas are up to. I might even stop being so cheap and spring for some Panthers tickets this year. Who knows?

Bout damn time!

How many ways can you say goodbye? Hmm, let's see.
So long. Farewell. Adios. Adieu. Goodbye. Good Riddance. Hasta la luego. See ya. Bye. Deuces. Peace. Later. I'll holla. Have a good 'un! Either way, when Carolina Panthers fans are saying it to Jake "Mr. Bojangles" Delhomme, it sounds SO sweet!
My boys FINALLY started listening to me and got rid of one half of the Dynamically Disastrous Duo of Jakey D. and John Fox. I've been waiting three seasons for the organization to tell those dudes,'get ta steppin'! (There's another one.)
I've been blogging, writing letters and yammering on to anyone who would listen about kicking Delhomme's ass to the curb. Well, after throwing away 18 picks last season, I took matters into my own hands and had a lil' talk with Jesus. I gotta tell ya' folks, He answered bye and bye.
After having the worst season ever. After throwing away all those picks and being pissed at everyone but himself, Delhomme can just go fishing! If he had any sense he would. He should sit out for a year and attempt to get into broadcasting or coach a Pop Warner team or something because Lord knows he ain't fit to do much more than that in the way of football.
Now, if getting rid of Jakey wasn't enough, rumor has it that Mike Vick is interested in rocking the teal and black next season. I've wanted Vick in Carolina every since Roger Goddell reinstated him. Hell, I wanted him before we found out he was fighting dogs. Vick is a damn good QB and I feel like with him, Steve Smith and the Wonder Twins, D'Angelo Williams and Jonathan Stewart, my boys would be in the perfect position to do some regulating next season.
I'm gonna pray. And wait. Ooh, I don't know about ya'll, but this feels like Football Christmas.
*squeals*
I'm so excited. I feel like I should dance or something. But wait, I need music!

Dear Panthers, I quit you.

This relationship has become too much for me to handle. *sniffling* I simply don't trust you anymore.
Every week, I tune into the game with the best of intentions. I sit there with my chips and Kool-Aid waiting for kick off. It always starts well. Then before I know it, it's the second half and you turn into a Pop Warner team - a bad one. I'm always so happy until the middle of the third quarter. That's when the tears start.
I can't keep going to work every Monday with puffy eyes telling my co-workers I "fell." Something tells me they've stopped believing me. I just don't see where we went wrong.
We've been together since '97. That's a long time. We've been through so much together: making the playoffs our inaugural year. The NFC Championship. The Super Bowl the same year as NippleGate. Those were fun times.
But just as there have been good times, there have been horrible ones too. The 4-12 season in the Dom Capers era. Rae Carruth's terrible game of Hide n' Seek. Losing Fred Lane to a crazy ass wife. And now, Jake "Mr. Bojangles" Delhomme's pick throwing ass and John Fox's unwillingness to bench him.
At the moment, we are currently 4-6. Delhomme has thrown 14 interceptions. Explain to me how we have a Pro Bowl wide receiver in Steve Smith and two Pro Bowl-worthy running backs in D'Angelo Williams and Jonathan Stewart, yet, we are still 4-6.
I can't handle this abuse anymore. Every time I threaten to walk away, you always straighten up and win a game or two. And as soon as I get comfortable, something goes awry. I mean, what can I do better? Am I not cheering loud enough? Could I have said something?
This just isn't working for me anymore. Until we can get some consistency, bench Delhomme and get rid of Foxy, I'm afraid we're done. I'm tapping out for the season. I still love you, but I can't be with you anymore. I'm drained - emotionally. I'm gonna get some help. You should too. For next season, I mean. In the form of Michael Vick.
I think he (and a new offensive coordinator) could really revamp the team. But right now, we need a break. This isn't goodbye. It's just, so long. You know, for the season. It just might be really awkward if I hang around this year, y'know, since my heart's not in it. Tell the guys it's not their fault. Well, not all of 'em. I put the blame square on Mr. Bojangles and the offensive line for not protecting him better.
We'll see each other again - soon. I mean, next year's not too far away. In the mean time, you might hear something about me cheering for the Colts. Don't listen to that. It's just a rumor. You know how people "talk." I don't really love them. But I don't like you very much right now and I need a way to spend my Sundays. They seem to have room on the bandwagon and I plan to ride it all the way to the Big Game.
Don't feel bad, I simply can't watch you anymore this season. I hope you understand. I wish you well.

Love,

Smarty.

Open letter to the Carolina Panthers

Dear Carolina Panthers front office,

For the love of professional football, please send Jake Delhomme, aka Mr. Bojangles, and John Fox a SitChoAssDown memo, pronto!
I mean, what the hell, man?! I've been a fan of this team since its inaugural season. I remember watching the first game with my stepfather. We had so much hope and promise for these Carolina Panthers. From Dom Capers on up to Foxy, I've been a fan. From Kerry Collins to Rodney Peete to Mr. Bojangles, I've been faithful. But this season has made me question my allegiance.
What's wrong Cats? Is somebody threatening you? Are you as tired of Jake and Fox Man as I am? Are you intentionally playing horribly so that you can get Foxy fired? If so, I understand, but if not, get yourselves together. We gotta salvage the season.
Explain to me how we have one of the best receivers and two of the best running backs in the NFL and we are still 2-4. The only explanation I have is piss poor coaching and QB still choking on whatever it was he had the night before the playoffs. What's the problem, Jake?
If this dude were a QB on anyone else's team, he would have lost that starting position after he threw half the picks he's thrown this season. Seven weeks into the season, Delhomme throws on average two interceptions per game. That wouldn't be that bad if he were throwing four touchdowns per game.
And what's with the offensive line? What happened to blocking? I understand you're probably more pissed at Mr. Bojangles than I am but dammit, he's your QB. I don't expect you to get on ESPN and cry in his defense like T.O., but dayum, take care of him so he can get a good look down the field and get the dang ball to Steve Smith and Mushin Muhammad. Gah! Just do ya freakin' job!
And let's not even get started on the D-line. Julius Peppers, my future ex-husband, what's wrong honey? Are you so focused on blowing that pop stand next year that you don't even want to play well this year? I know you have to stay healthy so you'll be a hot commodity so Jerry Jones can pay you an ungodly amount of money to go to Dallas, but Gah-lee, put in some work for the team you play for now.
If you all don't start to turn things around and soon, you may force me to forfeit my fandom for the remainder of the season and I'll be a woman without a team. You guys don't want that, do you? So you either shape up or I'm shipping out.

Reluctant Fan,

Smarty P. Jones

Celebration time, c'mon!!!

My Carolina Panthers won the first game of the season against the Washington Redskins!!!



Ya'll have NO idea how awesome it is to be a Panthers fan right now. To get our first win at home was phenomenol. It has taken five weeks for us to get our win and it is so sweet!
It wasn't pretty, but a dubya is a dubya! I'm still not totally convinced that Jakey D is the right QB for us, but he was able to pull a win outta his ass to save his and John Fox's job for another week.
So grab a glass and let's pop champagne, my boys got a win!!!