Staying With This Team Through Thick And Thin: A Review Of Mathematically Alive, A Story Of Fandom

A few years ago I heard about an interesting documentary about devout Mets fans like myself. My first thought was INTERVIEW MEEEEEEEEE! But my second thought was WHERE CAN I SEE THIS FILM?

Luckily for me I knew someone who knew the filmmaker and VOILA- I now own the DVD.

The interviews in Mathematically Alive - A Story of Fandom were conducted by filmmakers Joseph Coburn and Katherine Foronjy during the 2005-2006 seasons when it seemed like the Mets were going to take it all the way. And boy oh boy what an emotional time that was for myself and all Mets fans around the world! Throughout the award-winning film (it won Best Documentary at the 2007 New Jersey Film Festival), Coburn and Foronjy encounter die-hard collectors, fans who travel to away games, fans that wait by the players' entrance to speak to their favorite player and a shrink to help explain the insanity of it all.



"We are very social creatures," explains Dr. Daniel Wann, sports psychologist at Murray State University, "and it's very important to us to identify with something larger than the self." Dr. Wann also added that with social aspects of life like family and attending religious institutions on the decline, it only makes sense that sports has crept in to fill that void for many. And trust that no fans are as tightly knit as Mets fans... we're each others' support systems in the bad times and each others' cheerleaders in the good.

Not only did I find this documentary hella-informative, I must recommend it to one and all if for no other reason than to experience the CRAZINESS that is a real, true-orange-and-blue New York Mets fan. For example:

• The collectors who devote entire rooms in their homes to Mets memorabilia
• The guy in Port St. Lucie that painted his house blue and orange
• The chick who dumped her sister's ashes in left field at Shea Stadium
• The ladies that followed Mike Piazza EVERYWHERE he went (in their defense they weren't technically stalkers; most times it was Piazza inviting them!)
• The dude who has the Mets logo ON HIS TOOTH and named his son SEAVER... #iCan't

The film also includes such gems like the guy who exclaimed, "We'd rather be Republicans than Yankee fans," and the other who, after the Mets tanked in the playoffs versus the Cardinals in 2006, said he'd need counseling in the off-season. I cannot make this stuff up!

Dr. Wann makes it a point to say that many of these fans are addicted to their teams similar to how a junkie is addicted to crack. I mean, he didn't use those terms but that's what he was getting at. I think he's right, especially with regards to Mets fan. What else can explain our allegiance to a team that lets us down more often than not? Hell- I'm not afraid to admit it: I'm Jaded and I'm addicted to the New York Mets! But I'm not going to rehab so don't even bother...

Back to the documentary... one thing I noticed that was rather troubling, was how even the super devout fanatics began to doubt and poo-poo the team as soon as they performed poorly. After Game 3 against the Cardinals the interviewees were already walking away defeated. IT WAS ONLY GAME THREE- why the long face???

See, this is why we lose! All these "fans" sending their bad juju to the team at the first sign of disappointment. Someone even said, "Even when we're winning I'm always waiting for someone to knock us down." FOR REAL, THO? Girl, BYE! We don't need your kind fucking it up for the team... can you believe this mess?

*deep cleansing breaths*

All in all I can honestly say I thoroughly enjoyed the documentary (even though the players' faces had to be scrambled out of the shots!) and would recommend it to anyone who loves the Mets, loves sports and enjoys watching crazy fans act, well, crazy!

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Mathematically Alive - A Story of Fandom (2007). Directed and produced by Joseph Coburn & Katherine Foronjy. Now available on DVD. Photos courtesy of the filmmakers.

The Newest Met: Hisanori Takahashi

Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to introduce you to an absolute welcomed addition to the Mets bullpen family, Mr. Hisanori Takahashi of Japan. The 35yr-old pitcher (#47) was signed to a minor league contract by the Mets in February, but his spring training performance quickly earned him a spot as a starter (especially since that knucklehead Oliver Perez got DEEE-moted!).

In his earlier career, Takahashi pitched in college and in Japan's Industrial League before landing a spot in the Nippon Professional League in 2000 for the Yomiuri Giants. He remained there until 2009 when he became an international free agent, scouted by teams like the Giants, Dodgers and Red Sox, but TOO BAD, SO SAD, we nabbed him!

So far, Takahashi has been doing the damn thing on the mound. In his 17 appearances (two starts), Takahashi has 4 wins and only one loss, a 2.13 ERA and 44 strikeouts.

This is pretty impressive considering he was not doing as well in Japan. Listen, whatever it is that's making him perform better *coughDRUGScough* I really don't care as long as he keeps those batters at bay. Is that wrong of me? Ask me if I care. WE NEED A CHAMPIONSHIP, DAMMIT!

Besides, it's nice to see some new talent on the mound; Santana can't do it all, and he's still recovering from his surgery. Takahashi- you have the Jaded Seal of Approval; BIENVENIDOS!!!

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MetsWatch '10: W25-L23-GB2
Next game: 5/28/10 VS. MIL @ Miller Park, Johan Santana (#57, 4-2 for the season) pitching

The Mets' Fan Guide To Enjoying The Subway Series

Ever since 1997 when interleague play was made a part of the regular baseball season, baseball fans in NYC have had the pleasure of watching their beloved Yankees and Mets go head-to-head at least six times per season. For me it is both invigorating- just the thought of being able to say IN YO' FACE to a Yankee fan pumps me up- and exasperating- knowing deep down inside that the cards will most likely be in favor of those Bronx dudes.

But that's okay, because part of being a Mets fan is having that child-like hope and wonder and anticipation and FAITH in our Amazin' team. Win or lose, we're there for them.

I have a certain ritual for watching the Subway Series these days, just to save myself the agita of dealing with those obnoxious Yankee fans (because lets face it- no one os MORE obnoxious than a Yankee fan) and figured I'd do my fellow Mets' peeps a solid and share the tricks of the trade:

1- Ignore the previous years' stats. SO WHAT if the Yankees have won significantly more of these interleague games than the Mets have. Who cares? Just keep telling yourself: This is the year we will knock them on their ass.

2- Try and forget the 2000 World Series. Don't let this psych you out of your zone. Think only GOOD THOUGHTS during the game or you'll f*ck it up for the whole team!

3- DO NOT WATCH WITH A YANKEE FAN. Or in the Bronx. They will ruin the whole experience for you with their taunting and pointing and laughing, and next thing you know you've been arrested for manslaughter because that idiot in the Jeter jersey would not shut the hell up.

4- Choose a Mets-friendly establishment. Try some of the new places in and around Citifield, or Bobby V's Bar & Grill at the Ramada Inn in Corona. I also hear that Mudville9 in Manhattan, Ann Reilley's in Flushing and Mooney's in Brooklyn cater to our ilk, too.

5- Join a Mets fan Meetup Group. I used to be a member of meetup.com and one of the groups I joined right away was the Mets one. They got together on a regular to watch the games together decked out in full team colors from head-to-toe. It truly felt like home!

If none of these tickle your fancy then please, invite some Mets-friendly folk over to your house, queue up the 1,000" flat-panel plasma, put out the chips n salsa and enjoy the victories from the comfort of your sofa. Just please don't forget to send me your address; I make a killer pasta salad :)

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May Series: 5/21-23 at Citifield
June Series: 6/18-20 at Yankee Stadium
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MetsWatch '10: W19-L22-GB6
Next game: 5/20/10 VS. WSH @ Nationals Park, John Maine (#33, 1-3 for the season) pitching

Jaded Takes On...Fencing!!

Last year, after Eb the Celeb scolded me for ONLY writing about baseball, I conceived an ambitious little project in my mind. I thought, "Wouldn't it be a HOOT if I recorded myself playing different sports?" seeing as I'm SUCH a couch potato.

Well, six months later, the first in a series of "webisodes" featuring yours truly tackling a world of athletes is ready to be released.

And here it is:




Jaded Takes On...Fencing from The Jaded NYer on Vimeo.


I want to thank my good friend Elisheba for arranging the lesson with her son Samuel, Samuel for being such a great coach, and my film crew Video Vixon and Joshen Reborn for making me look good.

It was one of the funnest things I've ever done, and I can't wait to film the next one!!
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MetsWatch '10: W7-L9-GB3.5
Next game: 4/23/10 VS. ATL @ CitiField, John Maine (#33, 0-1 for the season) pitching

New Season, New Headaches, But I'm Still A Fan: LET'S GO, METS!!

Hello my dears, your favorite Mets' fan is back to cry all over your monitor over another year of rooting for the mismanaged ballplayers that call themselves the New York Mets.

Don't get me wrong- I always go into a new season with pom-poms in hand, sporting my team colors & fitted, full of hope and wonder...and then I watch a game and end up crying myself to sleep.

But no, no, no, I won't let the current last-place-standing-ass-shitty-record-ALREADY Mets get me down. Lets be real fans. Lets be upbeat.

The season opener at home was AWESOME. Johan pitched a lovely one. He was looking healthy there; the arm was doing well. We won that game against the Marlins... 7 to 1. Then Florida came back and beat us in the next game after an extra inning, 7 to 6. And then again the next game, 3 to 1.

I was beginning to see a pattern. AGAIN.

Then Pelfrey came on the scene on April 9th and we beat the Washington Nationals, 8 to 2. However the pattern re-emerged: Perez lost the following game versus the Nationals (4-3) and my Sweet Baboo Johan allowed four freakin runs in the first inning in the final game against Washington. We lost that one 5 to 2.

You know what makes me nervous about that pattern? Once my boys get into a losing streak/habit, it's so hard for them to break out of it. I don't know if it's the coaching or management, given that they're not BAD ballplayers, but there's something keeping them from being great *coughJERRY MANUELcough* *coughOMAR MINAYAcough* Because they proceeded to lose ANOTHER two games in the three-game series against Colorado. It really was more than my heart could take so early in the season. I usually save the Calgon for September.

And as exciting as that 20-inning win against the Cardinals was, it still doesn't take away from the fact that we are in LAST PLACE in the NL East. LAST PLACE. All I can think is, "There's no place to go but up..." because honestly what else am I going to do? I'm a Mets' fan, for better or worse. I ride or die for them, take much heat from Yankee fans for them, end up disappointed season after season for them.

And all these heart-aches and cringe-worthy losses will make our next World Series victory that much sweeter. Guess who's going to THAT parade?!?
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MetsWatch '10: W5-L8-GB3.5
Next game: 4/20/10 VS. CHC @ CitiField, Mike Pelfrey (#34, 2-0 for the season) pitching

Pre-Season Quickie: The Day Omar Minaya & I Agreed On Something

I know, I know, just reading that headline made you want to run towards the nearest house of worship and repent for all your wrong-doing but relax- I still despise the Mets' GM Omar Minaya with all of my being. However, he and I just saw eye to eye on a little matter known as prospective relief pitcher Jenrry Mejia.

The 20-year-old Dominican minor leaguer recently closed out an exhibition game against the Marlins that impressed the hell out of manager Jerry Manuel, so much so that he's thinking of adding him to the spring rosters alongside closer Francisco Rodriguez. Now I'm all for adding more quality players to the line-up, especially pitchers, but, um, one good game does not a major-league player make. Maybe Manuel needs to take a chill pill, as my generation used to say.

Minaya's response to all the hoopla is to have Mejia start in Double-A Binghampton in the spring instead and god help me, I agree. Let the boy hone his skills some more, improve his game, all that mess. THEN bring him on to play with the big boys. In his short career so far, Mejia has played in over 40 games, had 10 at-bats and scored NO RUNS. No. Runs. As a pitcher, he's had 11 wins and 11 losses, with a career ERA of 2.91, which is pretty good, but he's not consistent. I'm gonna need more consistency from Mejia before I buy his jersey.

So yes, Minaya, I agree with you- send him back to Binghampton but keep a close watch. If he's doing the damn thing then, hell, bring him on in June or July to close out games. Just not right now. Not yet. He needs more practice.

In other news, Mejia is a certified Hottie McHotterton.



That is all.

The Jackie Robinson Museum: NYC's Version Of A Baseball Hall Of Fame

As a baseball fanatic, one of the items on my To-Do list is to bask in the glory of the Baseball Hall of Fame in Cooperstown, New York. But seeing as being a freelance writer seems to require me to live in poverty, Cooperstown is on the back burner for now. Luckily for me, the Jackie Robinson Foundation is set to open The Jackie Robinson Museum in Lower Manhattan- just a subway ride away.

According to the proposed museum's brochure,

The Jackie Robinson Museum will commemorate the life and legacy of a true American hero through an exploration of his commitment to service and to the achievement of "first class citizenship" for all Americans. It will be a prominent stop on existing cultural routes in New York City and environs, and as a venue for lectures, concerts and receptions. It will serve as a forum for debate and discussion reflecting the ways in which we as a society also can progress through an understanding that one life can make a difference.

In essence this cultural center will not only serve as a tribute to Mr. Robinson and his achievements on the baseball diamond, but also take it a step further and become a platform for social discourse through the example of his humanitarian efforts.

According to reps from the Jackie Robinson Foundation, the museum has a tentative opening date of mid- to- late 2010 and hope to make a huge announcement real soon. In the meantime, I encourage you to check out the artist's rendering of the museum, it's mission statement and all the beautiful exhibits, etc, they plan to make available to the public.

Click here for more information on the Jackie Robinson Museum.

In other news, we are officially 32 days away from the Mets' Opening Day...the butterflies in my stomach are acting more like piranhas. We need a great season so badly...but that's a story for another day!

Caribbean Series Championship Comes Back HOME To DR!

First, let me apologize to any of you who were looking forward to my updates on the Winter Baseball League, which I promised you and never delivered on...my bad! You see, what had happened was...I must confess to not owning a TV; I watch everything via the internet. And well, it's really hard to find baseball games from Latin and South America streaming online unless it's a big match-up. Like the Caribbean Series for example, which I did watch like a big old nerd girl.

Let me not keep you in suspense- the Dominican Republic kicked major Caribbean ASS, you hear me? Los Leones del Escogido went in there and dominated for the entire series, winning with a 5-1 record (damn you, Puerto Rico!!) and whooping their Venezuelan hosts twice during the series to get the big prize.



In second place, not that anybody cares, is Puerto Rico. They put up a good fight, a valiant effort, if you will, seeing as they started the series dead last. Los Indios de Mayagüez almost forced a tie-breaker with DR, but in the end the mighty peloteros of Santo Domingo showed them what's what. That team has a history of strong (and sex-AY) ball players so really, those Indios had their work cut out for them. Mexico came in 3d and poor, poor Venezuela? Yeah, they were dead last with a record of 1-5. OUCH. Did I mention they were hosting?

One of the highlights of the series was watching Mets prospect Fernando Martinez win MVP of the Caribbean Series. This Dominicano is desperate for another chance at the big leagues, but with Minaya and company bringing in Gary Matthews, Jr. to cover for the always-ailing Carlos Beltran, Martinez's 2010 season might begin in Triple-A instead.

His powerful performance during the Caribbean Series (he hit .348 with four RBI and two home runs in six tournament games) gives Fernandez hope that the Mets will put him on the opening day roster this spring. He told MLB.COM reporters, "I know I'm a big league player, and I can perform at a high level. It's in my hands, so I have to keep working hard and maybe earn a spot."

I will definitely be watching out for this hard-hitting pelotero; here's hoping the Mets don't let him slip away!

So here's a huge Brugal y Presidente toast to my Dominicanos: Felicidades!!! Now, how can I get an exclusive interview with Julio Manon? Anyone? Please?



I like me some him!!!

Johan Is Ready, Are You?

These days I've been deleting any and all emails I receive from Mets.com. You could say I'm more than a tad bit bitter about the 2009 season, I don't care.

But this morning an email from them contained the magic words that made me jump off the couch and log onto my computer: "Greetings From Johan Santana..." YESSSSSSSSS!!

The email included a video link with a message from my beloved from Port St. Lucie, Florida, where the team has their mini-camp. (click on the link to see how much my boo bear's English has improved!)

And then on the commute into work, I see a great action shot of Santana on the back of the Post. Have I died and gone to heaven? Could it be true? His injuries will not keep him from shittin on hos during the 2010 season?

On September 1st, Johan underwent surgery on his elbow- to remove some goddamn BONE CHIPS (WTF?)- and I know I was not alone in my fears that he would be out for a lot of the 2010 games if not the whole season. Whenever these players go under the knife, especially so late in the season, you just never know what's going to come of it.

But after throwing 24 pitches on the mound at the mini-camp without incident, Santana declared himself ready for spring training. "The ball was coming out pretty good," he stated in the Post article. "I don't feel anything in my arm, so I think everything should be alright."

Can it be? Will it be? I want a championship win for the Mets and Santana and myself so bad I can TASTE IT. This news has been the first light at the end of the dreary, gloomy Mets Fan Tunnel that I've seen in months.

Is it really OK to put on my Optimism Cap and exhale now?

Introducing The New Met: #44, Jason Bay

While baseball enthusiasts like myself await news from spring training and eagerly anticipate open day games, alllllllll the power plays and deals are being made to fix what may (or may not) be broken with teams that didn't make the big show in the fall. Like my precious Mets.

We had a bunch of tiny problems that snowballed into HUGE problems, and one of them was a lack of power hitters. That's where Jason Raymond Bay, formerly of the Boston Red Sox, comes in. Especially because it's looking rather iffy on whether or not Carlos Delgado, who's currently playing in the winter league in Puerto Rico, will be resigned.

(Personally, I used to like Delgado a lot but he hasn't consistently brought an A-game onto the field in a hot minute. IF he doesn't return I wouldn't shed a tear. We're trying to win championships here, not hold on to washed up has-beens...OH MY GOD...now I sound like management!! *sigh*)

Bay is supposed to be our ace in the hole hitter, or at least one of them, and was signed to a four year, $66 million contract on that expectation. Sports pundits are saying he's a strong player and a great addition to the team, and Bay seems genuinely happy to be a Met, so I will give him a pass until about June. After that if dude is messing up I'm gonna BOO his stank behind whenever he has an at bat. I've done it before (Beltran...I'm looking at you...) and I'll do it again.

My one concern is that he's reportedly not a strong outfielder. And I mean, sure, hit the ball out of the park and get us on the scoreboard but dammit, don't start dropping balls out there or it's going to be a problem. Also, he passed the physical BUT he's had recent injuries that hindered his face time on the field. Lord knows the Mets don't need anymore injured players!

Still, welcome aboard Jason. I'm sure you'll get a warm reception during your first game at CitiField...just don't make us regret it.

And for the love of Pete: stay off the juice!! *side eye for Mark McGwire*
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Bay's Stats:
Bats: Right, Throws: Right
Height: 6' 2", Weight: 200 lb.
Debuted w/the Expos on 5/23/2003 (my 28th birthday, heeeeyyyyyyy!)
In 2009, Bay had 36HRs, 119RBIs and 142hits

Sugar: The Realest Baseball Movie You Will Ever See

Last year, after being stood up for a date (I know- it's hard to believe that any man would be foolish enough to leave me hanging but YES, it's true) I decided not to waste the night and took myself to the Angelika on Mercer to see a movie. And good thing, too, because I got there right in time for the next showing of a film I'd heard about online, Sugar, about a Dominican baseball player (what else? lol) recruited to play in the minors in the US.

A Bright Light In An Otherwise Blah 2009 Mets Season

When asked to reflect on what I considered to be the best sports moment of 2009 I want to run away screaming in protest. We all know I live and breathe for the NY Mets, and we all also know that they had one of the suckiest seasons I've ever had the displeasure of watching since becoming a fan in 1985. There was no way I was going to find anything to include on this year-end wrap up when, not only did my team not make it to the big game, but the teams that DID make it were their sworn enemies.

It was a hard season to be a Mets fan.

But back when everything was new and we all still had that twinkle in our eye fooling us into believing that THIS was OUR year, I do remember something that made me smile.

Along with the OTHER NY team, the Mets were playing in a new state-of-the art facility, CitiField. It was fancy and shiny and right across the parking lot from their old home, Shea Stadium. During those first few days, former Mets pitcher Dwight "Doc" Gooden



stopped on through the new digs, and while at the bar inside the Ebbets Field Club, he was asked by fans to leave his John Hancock on the restaurant wall for all eternity. And he did.

The hubbub that the front office caused following Doc's "tagging" incident was beyond retarded. Gooden claimed he was only responding to fan requests/suggestions while GM Omar "El Diablo" Minaya's people were sullying his already semi-sullied name all over the media.

But the front office was not counting on the backlash from the fans.

That's right- all over the internets, TV commentaries and newspaper editorial pages, the fans were supporting Gooden and DEMANDING that his signature be left right where he put it. Why? Well 1- he's Doc m*therf*cking Gooden, that's why. And 2- in all their preparations for Citi Field, the owners never bothered to pay any type of homage to former players that actually brought home a championship to this troubled franchise!

I cannot stand Minaya and await the day he is replaced, but he is surrounded with a great PR team that did some major damage control by taking the section of wall with Doc's signature and moving it to a more prominent place at the stadium- along with a promise to add on memorabilia and signatures from other Mets greats like Tom Seaver, Darryl Strawberry, Kieth Hernandez and Mookie Wilson.

Gooden had mixed feelings, expressing concerns that a "hall of fame" wasn't already up when Citi Field opened, and that perhaps the franchise didn't want old timers like him around anymore.

But for the fans, it was a tiny victory over "The Man," especially, you know, because we haven't seen any OTHER type of victory in a long, long time.

Dwight Gooden, thank you for my great sports moment of 2009.

xoxo,
Jaded

"Stimulants" in MLB- Should We Care?

Remember not too long ago when MLB was "cracking down" on steroid use, bringing Congress into it and everything? Ruining careers, hall of fame records, the whole nine? Well it seems that while they were smearing names all over the media (poor, poor Barry...) only one elected official bothered mention the over 100 players they have using banned "stimulants."

Why is this a major concern? I mean, let's be real: steroids and human growth hormones, yeah, they can give a player an unfair physical advantage. But do medications like Adderall and Ritalin fall under that category, too?

What these stimulants do, essentially, is help the user focus or concentrate for a prolonged amount of time (i.e. 9+ innings of a ballgame). Usually, Adderall and Ritalin are prescribed to Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) patients, but what Rep. John Tierny (D-MA) noted during the congressional hearings in 2008 was that a trend of MLB players allowed* to take stimulants had grown in an alarming rate from one year to the next. Basically, he was implying (all IN they face) that he didn't believe them; they needed more people.

ADHD is characterized by difficulty staying focused and paying attention, difficulty controlling behavior, and hyperactivity. Pretty much take your typical 2-year-old's behavior and extrapolate that to a 10-year-old or a 23-year-old (or a 34-year-old *cough*ME*cough*) and you probably have an ADHD patient.

Tierney's smoking gun vs MLB? In 2006 only 28 players were being prescribed medications for ADHD. In 2008 it exploded to over 100 MLB athletes. That translates to over 8% of baseball players in the league with ADHD as opposed to only 3-5% of the regular population. Suspicious or coincidence?

Some pundits are all, "This disease is still rather new; many of these players were probably never diagnosed as children and have only recently come to find they have the disorder" while skeptics maintain the, "yeah, riiiiiight!" defense. And both have a point. ADHD is fairly new, and medications and therapies are popping up all the time to treat it. Then again... listen, we all know shady doctors exist. And greedy team managers exist. And athletes have that MUST WIN AT ALL COSTS mentality. Could some of those 108 players permitted to use stimulants be faking? Of course. Can we prove it? Probably not.

Which again, begs the question- should we care about this as much as we do about steroids?

Tell me your thoughts...
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*by "allowed" I mean players are issued a Therapeutic-Use Exemption (TUE) by the league to take a prescribed medication that is on the banned list.

Introducing The Dominican Winter Baseball League

You puny Americans!

There you are, sitting around going nuts because April can't get here soon enough. Meanwhile, I'm over here enjoying the Dominican Winter Baseball Leagues, trying to decide which team I want to root for!

The Dominican Winter Baseball League is one of four that participates in the Caribbean Series along with Mexico, Venezuela and Puerto Rico (Cuba & Panama used to be down, but Cuba's league disbanded[thanks a lot, Castro!] and Panama shut down shop in 1972). One guess as to which country has the most championships under their belts... mhmm... don't hate! Since 1971 the championship has come home to DR 17 out of 35 times. OWWWWW!

The series itself began as a way to garner more interest in the winter teams after the American MLB began to recruit and snatch up the best Caribbean players. You can all thank Oscar Prieto and Pablo Morales for this cold weather escape from American basketball and football blues, and while you're at it, thank god that you know me and that I came over here to tell you about the leagues!

But ok, back to the Dominican teams... there are six: Las Águilas Cibaeñas, Las Estrellas Orientales, Los Gigantes del Cibao, Los Leones del Escogido, Los Tigres de Licey and Los Toros (formerly Los Azucareros) del Este Get to know those names, because from here on out, until spring training starts up and The Amazin' Mets come back into my life or one of my kids tak up a sport, this is what will be consuming my life.

You've been warned.

Yankees Won...

Dear Rollins,

Didn't I hear somewhere that you called the world series as: The Phillies in 5? Riiiiiiiiiight. And how's that working out for you? SUCKA!

xoxo,
Jaded

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Dear Matsui,

Congrats on the MVP win... SO GLAD it wasn't A-Rod.

xoxo,
Jaded

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Dear A-Rod,

It pains me that you get a ring, but, UGH, I guess you played well and all that. SHUT UP.

-Jaded

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Dear Jeter,

This win couldn't have happened to a nicer brother-in-law. You really are one of the best sportsmen in the game. Oh, and you're in charge of bringing the wine for Thanksgiving.

xoxo,
Jaded

And So It Comes Down To This...

...the Devil you know (Yankees) or the Devil you don't know (Phillies). Which of the lesser of two evils in my life will I root root root for in the World Series? Well, I'll tell ya, it's a tough decision, it is.

I have to decide if my wrath for the most annoying fans on the planet- Yankee fans- surpasses the disdain I'd feel if Rollins was allowed ONE. MORE. WIN. as a Philly.

Some would say that rooting for the Phillies will keep the Yankee fans from being all, "in your face" to us Mets fans, but the fact is they haven't been to a World Series since 2003 and it hasn't stopped them from being rude and obnoxious about their team.

And whereas the Phillies are a direct rival of the Mets, I have nothing against the Yankees; I respect their hustle. It's the FANS that make it hard for me to root for them, when clearly it should be a no-brainer because they're representing NYC. By default I should be cheering them on because, EWWWW, Philly! Who the HELL wants to rep THAT place? I should embrace the home team, always.

Still... this place gets so unbearable every time the Yankees win a championship. Oh MY GOD the ruckus in the streets... it's almost like Watts circa the 1960s. People lose their GOD-DAMNED minds. You'd think Joe Girardi was handing out $100 bills at the parade or something!

Decisions, decisions...

Either way, I will be watching the World Series and yelling at the refs, cheering for awesome plays and cursing at play errors (ERRORS? REALLY? With all the money you make you're dropping balls like you just learned the game? BOOOOO!). Because that's what I do.

"Hi, I'm The Jaded NYer, and I'm a baseball addict."
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World Series Watch 2009: Game 1- 10/28/09 in Yankee Stadium

Dammit All To Hell!

So. I see the god-damned Phillies have made it into the god-damned World Series again, huh?! What happened, Colorado? Los Angeles? Y'all couldn't do me that ONE solid and crush those mofos?

********

Dear Colorado Rockies: I thought we had an understanding. Were you or were you not put in charge of sending the Phillies home with their tails tucked beneath their jock straps? I'm pretty sure that's we agreed upon.

*checks contract*

YUP, right here in black and white letters... you were supposed to CRUSH THEM.

For you treachery, you are now dead to me. DEAD I say.

********

Dear LA Dodgers: Are you kidding me? Like, for real? You kick ass all season to let the god-damned Phillies steal your glory? Really? Joe, I expected better from you, I really did. You broke my heart.

********

So now we wait. Will the Yankees remind the Phillies that last year was a fluke? Or will the Angels hand them an easy win?

And YES that sentence is the equivalent of me stating: If the Yankees make it to the world series the Phillies are toast, but if the Angels make it they will need more than those bitchass halos to get that trophy!

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PS- As I write this, Yankees are losing to the Angels in Game 5, 4-0, in the first inning with NO OUTS. Is it a full moon? Am I on PUNK'D? Ashton??

Sweep, Sweep, Sweep...

YOWZA! Are y'all watching these post-season games? Too, too exciting. Granted I don't have a TV and can only watch the highlights here and there on the MLB's website but STILL.

Yankees SWEPT Minnesota. Angels SWEPT the Sox. And Joe Torre's tryna remind y'all what his muthafuckin name is by having his Dodgers SWEEP St. Louis (sorry, Pujols; I was rooting for you, boo!).

Now all I'm waiting to see is if the Rockies will do me a solid and CRUSH THOSE PHILADELPHIA BASTARDS TO THE GROUND LIKE THE SWARMY COCKROACHES THAT THEY ARE!! Whew it felt good to get that out.

Two things I want to note about the games already played:

1- Hi, Andy! I love me some Andy Pettitte. Talk about having HEART. That dude is a pitcher through and through and when he left the Yankees* way back when he looked so lost and hurt. When they took him back it just felt right. He's home now. And even though his season was so-so (14-8) it's ANDY, and I will always have much respect for him. Not more than I do for Johan, but respect nonetheless.

2- No, Manny, NO! I'm torn when I think of the Dodgers because on the one hand I want to applaud Torre (listen- he's just a good dude, OK, and knows what he's doing in that clubhouse) but on the other... MANNY *side eye*. Let's just see what happens w/ Colorado and Philly and then I'll know how to feel during the league playoff games.

And I just want to say that on my last post I was leaning towards a St. Louis/Yankees World Series, but on Sista Sports Radio (you did listen, right?) I changed my mind and put my vote behind a Dodgers/Yankee meet-up at the end of the month. Both teams just came a step closer to that grand finale and I don't know about you but I'm *in Jessie Spano voice* soooooooooooo excited.

Except- I hope this doesn't restart any East Coast/West Coast beef. We already lost Biggie & Tupac to that mess...

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*If you're wondering why I know so much about the Yankees when I'm a die-hard Mets fan, here's all you need to know... First, my ex-husband was a die-hard Yankee fan and second he worked at a school in the Bronx full of die-hard Yankee fans so guess what? During our stay in Riverdale (a swanky section of the Bronx) I was only allowed/able to go to Yankee games. When in Rome, right?

And lastly, I just LOVE baseball & NYC, so why wouldn't I know facts about other teams and players that are reppin' my home town? Stop hatin' on me, DAMN!

The Boys Of October, Sans The Mets

Yup, here we are. Another MLB post-season without The New York Mets. *wipes frustrated tears* But lets not dwell on that, okay? Let us now focus on the teams that are poised to take it all the way to the World Series.

American League:

New York Yankees. It's nice to see that at least the other New York team is repping for our city. I'm no hater; I'll tip my hat to the Yankees for the tremendous effort they've put forth this season with team captain Derek Jeter at the helm. And while I'm at it- congratulations to Jeter for surpassing Mantle's HR record. Bravo, dude. I've always admired you as a player- you know how to carry yourself with class on and off the field. Just wish more of your teammates *coughA-RODcough* would follow suit. So, New York, what's it gonna be? All the way or CHOKE city?

Minnesota Twins. Yankees have taken game 1 of their divisional series so far, but if I've learned anything from watching baseball all these years is to NOT discount the underdog EVER. Hell, did I forget to mention that THE NETHERLANDS beat Team DR in the World Baseball Classic?? I'm sure I have. So yeah, the Twins have as good a chance as anyone else to move forward in the series. Will the Yanks allow it?

Los Angeles Angels. WEST SIIIIIIDE! I didn't pay any attention to this team at all during the regular season but dammit if they didn't make it to the show. Hello, fellas. That's a very nice 97 wins and 65 losses you've got there. You think maybe you can send your coaches to Flushing, NY right quick? Pundits are saying this team is very reminiscent of the 2002 Angels- the ones that won the World Series. Can they do it again?

Boston Red Sox. The wild card. The team that's been riding the Yankees' ass the whole season. The team meeting their other rivals- The Angels- in game 1 of their division game this very night. And they have a point to make (as usual). They want you to know that Ortiz started out shitty but he's RET'A GO now. And that Jason Bay, J.D. Drew, Kevin Youkilis and Mike Lowell are key players to be reckoned with. But will it show on the field?

National League:

Philadelphia Phillies. GRRRRRR! My arch nemesiseses... I HATE that they are STILL in contention and The Mets are not. It's EATING ME INSIDE. Rollins, you jerk-off, UGH!!! Only you can make me root for the goddamned Rockies *spits* I hope the Phillies fail miserably and go home with NOTHING. There, I said it. Hmpf!

Colorado Rockies. Another team that's remained below my radar of teams to watch out for this season. They get my attention now ONLY because I need for them to pull it together and SMASH PHILLY TO BITS AND PIECES. Smash the Phillies like they ran up your momma's light bill and ruined her credit. So far it appears that the Rockies are playing very intelligently on the offensive, forcing Philly's hand and I LIKE it. Keep it up and the next stage towards victory is yours!

St. Louis Cardinals. Mmmmmmm. Albert Pujols. You are so deliciously yummy that... wait... that's not what we're talking about right now... So St. Louis has been pegged as the favorite team right now. Odds are they will meet up with the Yankees for the final showdown at the end of the month and I'm kinda leaning that way, too. Still, anything can happen, even with powerhouses like Pujols and National League Cy Young Award candidate Adam Wainwright on this team.

Los Angeles Dodgers. Ugh; Manny Ramirez is in the freakin' postseason. GREAT. I really cannot stand how good a player he is because his attitude sucks balls. But *sigh* the Dodgers have had a really good season, better than anyone in the National League, so it is very likely that they will stomp the Cardinals like roaches. Because lets please not forget- LA has Torre now. And dude knows how to lead winners. (It took a lot for me to write that. Can someone bring me a drink?!?!)

Good luck to all the teams. *side eyes Mets*

But as a native NYer, you already know where my loyalty HAS TO lie. I have no choice. Mr. Jeter, tell your friends to do their thang. See you at the finish line!

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MetsWatch '09: Season Stats W70-L92-GB23
"There's always next year..."

"You Can Stuff Your Sorries In A Sack, Mister!"

That's right- I'm REBUKING The Mets' "Sorry" for the shittious season they made me sit through. Cheaper prices in 2010 by 10-20 percent? So the fuck what? That's supposed to make me forget the HUMILIATION of wearing a Mets T-Shirt through NYC in 2009? Of having to cheer for a team that played like the kids in the first 30 minutes of The Bad News Bears?

If anything prices need to come down AT LEAST 35 percent if they want to see me present in the stands during the 2010 season. Money is TIGHT and I'll be damned if I will throw it away just to watch a bunch of over-payed, under-coached babies that can't seem to get it together.

I love them but I'm not accepting this apology. Not this year. Not until they make a few key changes.

1- GET BETTER TEAM DOCTORS. The amount of injuries suffered by our players were ri-DAMN-diculous, especially Santana's, which was left "undiagnosed" for way too long. I get that my boo wanted to play through the pain and get some wins for the team, but the docs should have put their foot down and said NO. If for no other reason than to get him healthy for 2010.

2- GET RID OF MINAYA. He's a catty little bitch-boy and I hate him. HATE. HIM. And I don't care if he's Dominican; that will not get me to be on your side. Just ask that poopie-faced Manny & that arrogant mo-fo A-Rod. He is not an effective leader and that's what this team needs NOW more than ever.

With that said, I will thank you kindly, Mets.com, to STOP sending me emails filled with "sorries" and "thank you for your support" videos because I ain't having it. I believe in tough love so here's a bit of Jaded-ness for you:

GET YOUR ACT TOGETHER OR I WILL BURN MY FITTED CAP IN PROTEST!

That is all.

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MetsWatch '09: W67-L92-GB25
Next game: 10/02/09 VS. HOU @ CitiField, John Maine (#33, 6-6 for the season) pitching